mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
