That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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