But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
no you cant smoke seaweed
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
