it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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