I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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