margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
now i know why i became what i already was.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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