I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
