What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
