im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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