There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
don't judge my taste in strippers
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
