This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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