So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
