So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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