I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
the liver wants what the liver wants
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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