Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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