please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
try to milk me bitch
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
