All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
True college students do jello shots in the library
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
