hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
