I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
