Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I need to align my fucking chakras
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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