I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
