I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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