Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
