Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
