My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
