For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
