Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
