He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
