3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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