we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
