she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How does one acquire holy water?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
