He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
