there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
