Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
