i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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