I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
