I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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