Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
