I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
