I cannot find my penis.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
