His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
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