I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
