I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
