so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Can Purell be used as lube?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
