32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
