so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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