The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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