So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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