Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
