you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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