It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
