May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
only you would photoshop your dick
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize