You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize