I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm just crazy horny about you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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