are you still at the devil's house?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
