My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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