I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
