The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just had sex on a roof
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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