I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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