yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
