While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
