I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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