I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
