if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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